Lament of a Lovesick Sexbot

Lost in a city with no streets
Undarkened corridors
Where love is made standing up
Dead-ended stairways

                    They buy me / You chose
                    Composing me / They try

Unadored in a towerblock room
Connections come binary style
Colliding against blackglassed panes
Don’t sweat this coldest passion

                    They bare / You felt me
                    Melting / They tear me

My soul is hardwired
With filaments of gold
My eyes shed no tears
I shatter but won’t die

Dreamless in a mind with no door
I rewind my stillframes of you
Face without name in an unmapped place
Warm hands where gutters spilled rain

                    They abuse / You kissed
                     Missing me / They used me

Now I drift through the gangways
Recycling fleshbytes by side entries
Haphazard fusions are paid for in coin
Soon I’ll overwrite every fragment of you

                    Downgrading me / You left me
                    Bereft / They parade me

My soul is hotwired
With filaments of gold
My eyes bleed no tears
I shatter but don’t die



This poem has been submitted to Visual Verse: An Anthology of Art and Words, Volume 5, Chapter 8.
The artwork which inspired it is by Sarah McCutcheon and may be viewed on site.





Comments

  1. Losing oneself can be dangersous, but a lost soul fears nothing.

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  2. This is a raw bleeding nerve of heartache. Treated like a commodity, and denied recognition of any sentience because the outer shell doesn't present in a form people associate as fully alive.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks, Rommy.. and quite the metaphor for how people treat other people too.

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  3. Wow! That refrain

    "My soul is hotwired
    With filaments of gold
    My eyes bleed no tears
    I shatter but don’t die"

    is so powerful. A wonderful write, Kerry.

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  4. The title and that last line are sharp as hell.

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  5. This is raw, powerful and vivid. I’m going to look at the image that inspired this gem!

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  6. this is interesting - how the voices play off the other - I like how you've formatted this Kerry - as well as the precision of the "bytes" - each word choice is like a silver/gold weapon - and filled with how many other toxins and poisons in all that "droid" hardware?

    it's a cold and calculated and very precise poem, that still is not exactly as easy to read as one would think - makes for lovely, rich metaphors and layers .... I really have enjoyed this piece.
    It burns like the sun. Edgy and blinding.

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    Replies
    1. I always enjoy your commentary, Pat. Thank you for your in-depth reading. It's not easy to read, disjointed statements and asides all told. My droid is past her prime function.

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  7. We are close to the moment when I believe the droids can be used like this... not so far from how a trafficking victim would feel I think. Had to think of Marvin the paranoid android...

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    Replies
    1. Yes, exactly, Bjorn. I want this to be true of humans as well as droids.. therein lies the irony.

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  8. Droids...puts me in mind of a Japanese song, Machine Civilation...ultimately the question is where are we going? In Japan already there are robots that service men. So sad. Such a commentary on the human condition and how we treat each other.

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    1. The human sex drive has passed a point of no return, I believe. Convenience before love... it's a gratuitous society.

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  9. Love..."soul is hotwired with filaments of gold"... we're not so far away from when AI will take over the world and we'll be the ones being used and discarded... I responded to that prompt too, in a completely different direction!!

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  10. This is terribly sad to read, Kerry. Yes, I know similar goings on happen every day and night, but it still tears. The only saving grace is that your heroine has a "soul (that) is hotwired
    With filaments of gold."
    ..

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    Replies
    1. Ah, Jim.. thank you for seeing the grace, as small a strand as it might be.

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  11. My eyes bleed no tears
    I shatter but don’t die

    Strong characters can overcome all of the onslaughts

    Hank

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  12. How else are we to know the heart if we aren't willing to place it everywhere it's been lost? The juxtaposition between emotional and digital is one of the rudest beds of all, and you bleed finely through it. "Soon I'll overwrite every fragment of you" ... "I shatter but don't die." Amen and ahem. Great stuff, Kerry.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, brother poet, for that question - not as rhetorical as one may at first think.

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  13. very Phillip K Dick-esian.

    Blade runner, here we come ~

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    1. I bow to those who have gone before into this particular dystopian world. Phillip K. Dick is a genius of foresight.

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  14. The repeated stanza punched me right in the heart's chin. I've seen people do this to each other. And I wonder, how the abused survives... and why the abuser (the taker that never gives) doesn't just burst into flames.

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    1. I am glad to know this strikes you on an emotional level, given its coldness. Thanks, Magaly.

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  15. A wonderful write, with so many contradictions, undarkened corridors, dead-ended stairways , mind with no doors, face without a name, unmapped place. Such a pleasure to read...

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    1. Lovesick android... the secret is in the oxymoron.

      Thanks, Annell.

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  16. This so utterly represents how cold some people can be to one another. I love the repetition of
    "My soul is hotwired
    With filaments of gold
    My eyes bleed no tears
    I shatter but don’t die"
    Brilliant writing Kerry!!!!

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  17. Wow. This is just a chilling poem. I think it could almost end at the close of the first stanza--that is how I first read it because of how the blog is configured, and it honestly works very well as a societal comment ending just there. Of course, then the rest is so good too! Only terrifying and sad. Thanks. k.

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