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Lines Meeting (1932) Pierre Dubreuil |
Time to lock up the shop
on this one last customer –
He cannot decide if he really
loves the merchandise
enough to commit –
though he has been fondling
silky textures longingly
and won’t walk out the door –
I have places to be, fellow,
and I no longer really care
what you want with my time –
A 'throw away the key' 55 for Camera FLASH 55!
I love the ambiguity of your poem, Kerry. The phrase 'Time to lock up the shop' may be a familiar one but it has undertones. I also read it as a metaphor for autumn.
ReplyDeleteA metaphor of sorts is intended..I'll be interested to see how everyone reads into it. Thanks, Kim.
DeleteOh, this is interesting — the two distinct characters with their needs and demands can make for more than one metaphor of desire and/or its prohibition, especially with the fondling of those "textures longingly". "Time to lock up" makes me wonder.
ReplyDelete-HA
How long does one have to wait for a person to make up their mind?
Delete;-)
Time is money and the honey ain't free, buster! Hearts know this tale, its as old as trade and truth and altars. No wonder Hermes was the god of barter, steals, roads and psychic insight.
ReplyDeleteI think your comment is spot on and is a wonderful poem in itself!
DeleteCheers!
Haha! Let me buy ol' Hermes a drink.. one for the road.
ReplyDelete;-)
may I also sit at this table and offer both Hermes and you a drink?
Deletethis is a very interesting and subtle 55 - and definitely filled with intrigue - as offered by the words "fondling" and "silky textures longingly" ...
and it cuts sharply, the other voice, that kind of "hit the road buster" or "get on with it already" impatience ...
and what's fascinating is whether the voice speaking as witness and commentator is the actual object of affection and affectation, or not ...
I like the precision of the words and yet the ambiguity which allows us to freely discover and interpret in our own fashion.
I'm glad you enjoyed this one, Pat. I find the short monologues about all I'm up for these days, and wanted it to be kind of cryptic..
DeleteClosing time... there are those moment the last one simply has to leave... I feel a metaphor of a relationship unfulfilled... sometimes you just have to commit.
ReplyDeleteGreat insight, as always, Bjorn. That's what I had in mind.
DeleteIt could also be a metaphor for the swain who lingers, unsure or unable to commit, and the object of his conflicted affection who gets tired of waiting for him to decide, a swain i have encountered a time or two.
ReplyDeleteHaha! Who hasn't, Sherry.. It's a fish or cut bait situation all over again.
DeleteI can literally picture the expression on the speaker's face while she waits for the other to make his move. Love the use of metaphor in this gorgeously constructed poem, Kerry!💖
ReplyDeleteThanks, Sanaa.. I'm happy to know my character is one the reader can imagine so clearly.
Deletesuch good tone in this one ~
ReplyDeleteThere's always the last customer, some are in a hurry and were not intending to be late. There's others who purposely are last so they will get more attention from the clerk. We don't count those scary ones who intend to rob the place after they have scoped out what all merchandise they can steal besides money. We were the last ones out last night at as fish restaurant in Louisiana, though another couple did come in and go during the time we were eating. They were all very polite with us as they swept the floors and all were sitting around waiting for us to finish. I talked with the cook a bit while the others were finishing. The cook came out front and sat on a short stool, looking bored. He was protection as the others were all youngish women.
ReplyDelete..
Thank you for this nice prompt. It is interesting to read how the various writers reacted and where they went with the words. Perhaps yours was metaphoric for the ending of a first date while standing at the doorstep. The word, "fondling", suggested that. When I was single my favorite was "do you want to come in for coffee?" I went and most of the rest of the evening was her pitch for me to join Mensa. I didn't join but found out I was eligible (still not too late, I guess).
Delete..
You've really captured that last lingering customer so well. It makes time crawl before you can lock the door. Nicely done!
ReplyDeleteTeresa from Razzamadazzle
Each person's needs are annoying to each other. They are locked.
ReplyDeleteAfter too much fondling the merchandise and no serious interest for more, even the most patient of souls can lose her cool.
ReplyDeleteBut he's gonna hold you hostage, just cos he can. Ugh!
ReplyDelete