Pablo Neruda
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| @skyloverpoetry |
See the gloss of daybreak
how light curves from oblivion
cuts a path over water –
you rise from bed, leave
your lover dreaming of a silken shore
and you, distant, a smooth pebble
skimming the mirrored sky
as the horizon burns –
Your eyes, deeper than estuaries –
your familiar hands, unravelling
songs written by the blue
For Karin Gustafson's Going, Going, Gone challenge, a poem in 55 words.
This is an open invitation to share your Flash 55 in the comment section below.
Here's to a Kick-Ass Weekend, for Galen and Hedgewitch, in her leave of absence.
wow - this is just beautiful Kerry. Stunning. And the last stanza is just a word perfect ending. The references to sea, shore, water, dreams, blue ... all of it - just lovely. I really love how this poem is a poem that touches all of the senses - with both longing, savouring, and just enough of an edge to keep it interesting for the reading.
ReplyDeleteFor a 55, this is anything but a "quick" read - it is meant to be fully appreciated over and over again, like an "amuse bouche"
Thank you so much, Pat. I fought with this poem for two days until it unfolded for me. So hard to write about lovers parting at dawn when it has been done so many times.
DeleteSigh. This is simply exquisite, Kerry. Your imagery is always amazing. I love the lover dreaming of a silken shore, and the other, the pebble "skimming the mirrored sky". Wow. How cool.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Sherry. It is getting harder to come up with fresh images.. sometimes I feel like I'm on repeat.
DeleteThis is so beautifully realized and written --I love that the "you" is the one who rises rather than the sun, which seems almost to just curl over--the gloss of daybreak is such a beautiful and apt way to describe it--the idea of a person like a pebble thrown and skimming the horizon (in the U.S. we use the term skipping, but I think it's the same and it is lovely here.) Songs out of the blue are somehow songs of that l'heure bleue but also songs of melancholy and songs somehow by measure--that arc of horizon--really beautifully put together. k.
DeleteThank you for such a wonderful prompt, Karin. It helped to open a doorway in my mind, though I found this hard to get right within the 55 words. I am happy with the result, as I have not written much recently.
DeleteI love how you found those unique images for something so "common" as two lovers parting... yet when it happens it's always unique, and you achieve that by your choice of images...
ReplyDeleteThanks, Bjorn.. yes, so hard to avoid the mundane these days.
DeleteThis is love on water's side, where eloquence is a bubble floating up from the rapture and wreckage of the heart ... You stay fiercely there, and we are watered for it. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteMy 55: https://blueoran.wordpress.com/2018/08/31/gone-forever-going/
ReplyDeleteThanks, B. I have to dig deep for Miranda.. whilst Caliban chatters in my ear.
DeleteYour words exquisite delightful and delicious Kerry.
ReplyDeleteHow calm and soothing they are, drifting off I am, in the wonderful sweet balm that they are. Yum!
Anna :o]
I'm glad it left you feeling soothed. thanks, Anna.
DeleteStunning and beautiful Kerry!
ReplyDeleteHere is my 55... but you will find it on the Weekend 55 as well.
ReplyDeletehttps://brudberg.me/2018/09/01/obituary-for-a-mollusk/
DeleteNice to read, Kerry. I like the part of your lover's dream, of you a smooth pebble sailing towards the shimmering shore through those illuminated skies.
ReplyDeleteYou stationary is pretty, simple too. I believe that is a long bended shoe. Every page? What I've read from Pablo Neruda I like. I also respect him a lot, his political struggle and all. That all has been since we visited his home in Valparaiso sitting high on a hill overlooking the Atlantic. Very inspirational setting for writing.
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How lucky you are to have visited Neruda's home. I use a moleskine notebook, Jim.
DeleteHere is a Flash 55 that I wrote today for the Imaginary Garden
ReplyDeletehttp://jimmiehov6.blogspot.com/2018/09/i-wont-go-away-stay-here-my-shell-call.html
Thanks for hosting.
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Lovely stuff, my friend.
ReplyDeleteDear Kerry, this is such a beautiful piece of work — this dawn song provides a compelling tapestry of emotions. Some great craftsmanship here: "you, distant, a smooth pebble/skimming the mirrored sky/as the horizon burns".
ReplyDeleteI love Aubades. Philip Larkin's is my favorite. Yours is another one now.