Starved of the colour, come September,
my eyes are hungry for the night rains
and I hear the roots of grass gasp in pain
to feel the sap rise – and I remember
the touch of your eyes upon my bare skin –
reflection of thick-leaved trees on the lake,
the woods, the weeds, the pasture-path you take
and every journey’s end brings home the green.
True, the drought depletes, grief feeds on ashes
yet a full moon drips silver from sultry clouds
on upturned hands of imploring branches –
love returns, scattering seeds on dry ground
and we can only grow again, live passion
as verdant buds springing fresh from the brown.
A Neruda-style sonnet for Kim's challenge: A Rainbow of Sonnets.
Wowww!💜 This is gorgeously written, Kerry! Especially love; "grief feeds on ashes yet a full moon drips silver from sultry clouds."💜
ReplyDeleteIt's been a while since I wrote a sonnet. I enjoyed it.
DeleteSuch a beautiful poem!!
ReplyDeleteSo lovely .. the second stanza is especially breathtaking. I fell into it and did not want to leave.
ReplyDeleteI can't ask for more than that from a reader. Thank you, Helen.
DeleteMay I throw roses at your feet?
ReplyDeletewow - now, this is a sonnet!
whoot!
This is what I consider a sonnet, to whatever form, and yet modern. And it is - I mean, really Kerry - IS stunning.
I love the colour play and how you've blended the natural environment and then brought in the subtle conversation about love and relationships and used the two, separately and combined, to sweep me right into the space (which of course, is so different than anything I've ever known) - and into this 'personal' relationship.
This is just really gorgeous - I've read this sonnet I don't know how many times now, and as already noted, I too, don't want to leave.
And I won't re-quote your own lines back to you, it would be like the whole poem, but as soon as I read the first two lines ... and the idea of eyes (portals to the soul?) being starved for the night rains ... and the promise, suggestion of what this means for renewals and beginning again ... the way you've so beautifully phrased it? And I'm totally lost and am not leaving. Nope. I'm just going to plunk down and sit right here.
this is exceptional!
Thank you so very much, Pat. I truly value your feedback. I am feeling a bit overwhelmed by your high praise but I am grateful to know how moved you were by my poem.
DeleteIt has been quite a while since I felt any real sense of connection to my own work, but this sonnet is an exception.
Kerry, your sonnet has blown me clean away! There is so much beauty in your lines that it is difficult to make specific comments. I love the way it starts; having paid attention to your comments about the seasonal dryness of the South African landscape, I understand how one can be starved of the colour, especially seeing as we have so much green in our soggy garden! I love the personification of the thirsty roots and that wonderful leap to the second stanza and the link between 'the touch of your eyes upon my bare skin' and a greener landscape. I love the third stanza, in particular the lines:
ReplyDelete'...grief feeds on ashes
yet a full moon drips silver from sultry clouds
on upturned hands of imploring branches', and those 'verdant buds springing fresh from the brown', so hopeful.
Dear Kim, many thanks for your warm response to this sonnet. I can say without a shadow of a doubt that this poem would not have been written were it not for your prompt. It is the culmination of separate factors, and therefore a gift, really, and quite unexpected. Thank you.
DeleteStunning Kerry! I have read it several times, and each time, I love it even more!
ReplyDeleteThis is how a sonnet shall be written, I love how you kept with the petrarchan volta, rather than the Shakespearean, it makes it more balanced I think... your imagery of the autumn in the first stanza and the spring to solve it en the second perfect reminds me that for you, it's spring when we have fall.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Bjorn. Your words mean a lot to me, coming as they do from one I consider a master of sonnets.
Delete‘ grief feeds on ashes
ReplyDeleteyet a full moon drips silver from sultry clouds
on upturned hands of imploring branches –
Just stunning imagery, Kerry.
We can only live in sorrow's drought for so long. Thank goodness for the changes of color that seed brightness back into our lives again.
ReplyDeleteYes, the soul needs its own kind of rain to survive.
DeleteOh my, that is some wonderful penmanship, Kerry. This is the kind of sonnet that keeps a hold over the reader for long.
ReplyDeleteThe myriad colors create a story-line unto themselves, and the emotions expressed are glorious in this palette. I am in awe of this bit: "grief feeds on ashes/yet a full moon drips silver from sultry clouds/on upturned hands of imploring branches".
Beautifully done.
I am glad to hear that the sonnet takes hold of the imagination. So intriguing how the most personal of pieces may speak to a wider audience in an authentic way.
DeleteI best loved :grief feeds on ashes", and the silvery moon.........gorgeous imagery, Kerry, and I loved the rhyming og September and remember.....autumn seems to be a time of remembering.
ReplyDeleteI set myself the task to rhyme, Sherry, against my better judgement and went with near/half rhyme to an extent but those two words matched very well.
DeleteI see the family here with the bread winner away for long whiles. Meanwhile the family at home, alone in the stormy world. Then Voila! Comes the father home as in "... every journey’s end brings home the green (slang for money)." The second iteration has the father coming again, this time with "silver" to sprinkle down on the waiting family, relieved again from the hardships of poverty. (I didn't work too very hard on other parts but all the while I was seeing this scene, near famine followed by the breadwinner's victory--the bread winner wasn't a strong father image, merely a man or women, parent, older child, or aunt or uncle, etc. as the wage earner.)
ReplyDelete..
Ant d if it was a bare poem of natures beauty you captured it well, full of imagery. I liked it either way, nice writing (but you are the teacher, that is to be expected!!)(this reply doesn't need to stay)
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I am always interested to learn how you have read my poetry, Jim. I like both interpretations, as they have meaning for the reader.
DeleteA tour-de-force ~
ReplyDeleteSalut, friend.
Delete