(i do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens;only something in me understands
e.e. cummings
if i could go back in time(when you
were mine;i was yours) would i find
the(right)words to undo the wrong
and let them fall,like drops of rain
(when an hourglass shatters,sands
stop sifting the minutes we count
as days between then and now) i
have spun instead the silken years
around the (beating seconds) spindle
of my heart,each a thread to bind
me,and,you (apart together) still
i journey back to your everywaking
(a sundial moves not, but shadows do)
morning,where you again take me
Day 17 ~ TIME
Sanaa is our host in The Imaginary Garden today, reminding us we are Somewhere in the midst of stirring April.
If I had to choose my favourite poet of all time, it would be cummings. He blew the lid off poetic norms, and rewrote the patterns of verse so distinctly than none could ever come close to emulating his art with any authenticity. Thus it is with extreme caution that I offer my attempt at a cummings' sonnet.
“I have spun instead the silken years around the (beating seconds) spindle of my heart,” ... gosh this is so ethereal 😍😍 you depict time.. nostalgia and state of mind so poetically here, Kerry! I absolutely love it! Thank you so much for writing to the prompt!📝❤️❤️
ReplyDeleteThank you, Sanaa. I couldn't say no to cummings!
DeleteThis is incredibly beautiful and poignant. Sigh. The ache of those rememberings!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Sherry. This one makes me sigh too.
Delete"a sundial moves not, but shadows do" this is packed with repeatable lines SA. Love the style, love the desperate feel and the flavor of love long gone but not forgotten. Heavy sigh...
ReplyDeleteThanks, Corey.
DeleteGorgeous.
ReplyDeleteI think I've been camping out in memories lately. This wistful, desperate poem speaks what I have't been able to say.
ReplyDeleteOh, this is lovely. There are so many lines I love here, but most especially:
ReplyDelete(when an hourglass shatters,sands
stop sifting the minutes we count
as days between then and now)
Oh I love this both in style and execution... so much we lose in our life and being left regretting.
ReplyDeleteWow! I think it is very well emulated as to his style, while the voice remains your own (as it should). And then, the poem transcends both (more than the sum...).
ReplyDeleteI love cummings too. Maybe not my very favourite (there are also Yeats and Dylan Thomas) but up there with the few. And he is infinitely returnable-to, and never disappoints. Also he wrote what is nearly my favourite poem: Buffalo Bill's defunct....
I.e. time stands still when we are together. But it won't keep us for being late(try it). I liked cummings' book, "The Enormous Room" but not many of his poems. Shame on me, I do like what I have read, need more.
ReplyDelete..
(a sundial moves not
ReplyDeletebut shadows do)
Most appropriate and perfect references you made, Kerry! Beautiful write, Ma'am!
Hank
Cummings breathes in this poem, Kerry. I love how you’ve emulated the punctuation, right down to the spaces between! I also like the contrasts of right and wrong, then and now, me and you, apart and together to portray a relationship. I especially enjoyed the hourglass metaphor and the phrase ‘sands stop sifting the minutes’.
ReplyDeleteglad you are intrepid ~
ReplyDelete